Anyways, as I was saying, I attended my latest interview yesterday and before the interview, I wasnt sure if this was what I wanted. I know, then why bother applying right? Simply because for the sake of doing so. When you have people telling you constantly to get a damn job, you will tend to simply apply up and down, left and right, here and there. That's why when ever companies that I simply send my application to ask me why I choose their company, I cant answer. My head will say 'Ask my mom' but my mouth will be smart enough to just say whatever that sounds smart (or so I think).
So, before yesterday's interview, I was hoping that they wont offer me the job on the spot because I was waiting for good news from another company that called me for an interview last week. This particular company is in an industry that I have so much passion for and so much interest in - MUSIC!! Like, I wont care if I need to work until damn late. I so wanted it!!
You see, I didnt want to be stuck in some shit dilemma. For example, if this company A offers me a job and I take it, then few days later the music company offers me the job pulak. It'll be damn shitty right?? I will shoot myself.
Right after yesterday's interview, which I think I made a fool of myself, I got a call from the music company. I got rejected because I wasnt experienced enough. Usually when a company calls you back, its good news therefore I was very shocked with the news that they delivered to me. At least he had the courtesy to call lah.
So yeah, being rejected hurts a lot especially if you want it so badly. This graphic shows exactly what happened to me when I got the call.
I was on the phone, standing in one corner of a shopping mall, just trying to digest what has been said. Call me a drama queen for all I care!!! I soooo wanted this and was sooooo excited about it and what happened? My heart just dropped on the floor, cracked and broke. So this is what a heart break feels like. I just feel like as if I just broken up with my boifriend or something. I know I cant compare it like this because I am still very much single but so what. It was so heartbreaking that I cried my tears out as I was driving home. For reals.
Now, I dunno if yesterday's interview was considered good enough for that company to call me or not. Part of me doesnt care because its not what I'm interested in but the other part of me wants it because I'm broke and I'm not getting anymore calls from other companies. As of this moment, I just dont know anymore. Dont know what to hope for. Dont know what to expect.
No worries, I'm still searching for other companies to bombard them with my CV and all but in the mean time, I cant help but to emo.
Why are my dreams and ambitions being shattered even before anything started?? Somebody check me in to the heartbreak hotel or rehab please. I need to get my cheer back.
ps: how ironic is it that right after my other interview last week, the 'break break you heart' song was played as I was driving home. fml fml fml.
pps: if your friends ask you what fml means, just say my name. They'll get a rough idea. sigh.
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