No Longer Dreaming That Little Dream

Wanna know how I imagine myself in 10 years? Successful, doing what I enjoy that's related to what I majored in and married to the one and only guy I've ever dated in my life. Success wise, I always imagine myself being something like Wilhelmina Slater from Ugly Betty, with a heart, in the happening world of marketing/PR/whatever. Its also cool if I dont get married because if I am successful, I dont need them men. I dont need to share my wealth and success with anyone, except the other people who deserve to be a part of it lah. But, I do hope to be married. Anyhoo....moving on.

I guess a dream will always remain a dream, in my case. The more I want something, the more I wont get it. That's why sometimes, I just don't dare to dream about having anything because I somehow know the end of that story.

Look at me. I'm still in uni while my friends have already entered the working world in their dream industries - banking (rolls eyes) and I'm not able to get a part time job in the industry I long for...cant even be an intern!! This was so not part of my dream okay.

Worst part is, I just realised that maybe all that communication (PR, advertising, marketing, whatever) shiz just ain't for me. The other day, I was having a talk with someone at a place I kinda applied for a job at and she was telling me all about marketing and something just struck me - I'm not fit to be in this field. I am more of a 9 tp 5 kinda person. Yes, lame, I know.

How??? My parents paid like over RM30k for me to take this degree course and I end up not liking it?? I'm screwed. If marketing isnt for me then what is? Right now, there are two things floating in my mind...

1; Food industry
2; Kindergarten

I dont even know where and how to start. sigh.

It feels like as if I've been walking a long way, thinking that I'm heading to that specific direction but turns out, I'm heading to no where. So, since I'm heading to no where, I just throw my bags on the ground and sit....and wait....until I get a direction.

FML!!!!!!! and FTS!!!!!!!!

But on the bright side, I'm jobless, taking only 1 subject and have class once a week, and I am at home almost everyday....doing nonsense. Life's a bliss much? Maybe. But still, I need to figure out what I wanna do once this semester is over. Sigh 2.0

Ok. ranting over. Out!