Let me be honest here for awhile. It actually hurts when people, especially those I care about (without showing), says that right at my face, and in a rude way. Maybe, to some it may not hurt as much as it did to me but it did hurt. It hurt so much that tears actually rolled down. Why? Mainly because I am a sensitive person (yes, I dare to admit) and I really don't think of myself that way.
If I only think of myself......
1. Would I bother saving your ass from trouble?
2. Would I help you avoid potential trouble?
3. Would I give you blardi money when you don't have any? (which you haven't paid back, btw)
4. Would I allow you to eat my favorite part of the chicken, and just watch you happily eat it?
5. Would I keep your secrets and forget that I ever knew them?
6. Would I download shows to watch and keep them until you've watched it?
7. Would I think of excuses whenever people ask about you?
8. Would I lie to others just so you wont get caught?
9. Would I try to not make you feel left out among the people you don't seem close to?
10. Would I feel annoyed whenever someone says shit about you?
Well, no. If I only think of nothing but myself, I wouldn't be doing any of the above, and I have done the above. So, before calling me selfish, please think about it, carefully. Get yo facts right!
Maybe sometimes I do think of myself without realizing. But that's because the more I think about others, the more I realize that I don't get anything in return. Yes, I'm calculative. For example, my blur friend. I'm constantly informing/reminding her about this and that but what do I get in return? A 'you-were-busy-that's-why-I-didnt-tell-you' nonsense. See what I mean?
If I didnt make any sense, whatfrikkinever. I'm still hurt and hiding it (but not so much).
PS: I just read some person's blog and almost puked out my dinner. Bleargh!!
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