I am jealous of other people living my dream and they know that it's my dream they're living. Not that my dream is fully owned by me. Other people are allowed to have the same dreams as I do but it just hurts so much! Especially when the "other people" are those who are close to me and because of my jealousy, it tears us apart. That hurts even more. The best part is, other people just get the opportunity handed to them or just by chance to live my dream and voila, they're living it. For me, I have to chase it with a club and still not get a hold of it.
Why is it so unfair? What did I do to not deserve to live my dream but watch others flaunt it right at my face instead? Is it because I deserve something better? or is it because I am too weak to know if that's what i really want. I dunno. I just think it sucks that I have to sit at the sidelines, watch everything pass me by and think to myself 'That should be me'. Well, if something way better is coming way, I am still waiting.
I am filled with envy.
There is so much jealousy in me that it's making my heart so bitter and I am not sure how long more will this jealousy stay by my side.
ps: please pardon my unseasonable-ness
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